So much more than a loving memory....

For those of you that know me very well, know that I grew up in a sort of haven. A child's paradise. Living in two very large yards, separated by a flowing creek, and more trees and flowers found in any other Spring city yard. My great grandma & grandpa of course lived in the larger yard, in one of Spring City's largest & most beautiful historic rock houses. My parents owned the other yard. If you could count the times I've crossed that bridge that separates the two, the number would be next to an infinate amount.

When my mother was only four yrs. old, her sister, three, and her brother, one, their mother passed away at a young age of cancer. My mom's father's parents took my mother and her sister in & raised them as their own, just after being empty-nesters from raising their three own children.

My great grandpa was an incredible man, with a yearning of knowlege and learning, which he did, always. Wether it be reading, listening to classical music, or babying his beautiful rose gardens, he was always busy, making more than good use out of his time. When I was in the eighth grade, he passed away of mesothelioma. It was such a hard time.

Now, my great grandmother has passed away. A woman who was a mother to my mom. Who spent everyday of my childhood life with me. She was my second mother. I think it's safe to say I spent more time at her house than I did my own. She was a woman who went above and beyond the calling of a grandmother. She was a mother to everyone in her family. I don't think I've ever met a grandma who was closer to her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren. I'm so thankful for the opportunity my boys had to be able to know her. Their great-great grandma. Their "little grandma". It's always been so hard for me to imagine life without my grandma. The lively, spunky 88 yr. old lady who I surely thought would outlive us all.

I feel so lost. When I go home, I won't be able to cross that bridge and find my gandma. Of course I can cross that bridge, walk into the yard and around the house, but she won't be there. Nothing will hold me there. The fire's gone. My chilodhood is gone. I don't have that home to go to anymore. It's all too much to comprehend now. It will take much time to mend my heart. A huge chunk of my life is lost.

But how thankful I am to have the knowledge I do about gospel, god's plan and the after-life. I know my grandma is with grandpa now. Surrounded by a loving family. And I can't even imagine, how much my mom's mother must be thanking her right now. And to think that she is with my brother Dane. I'm almost jealous when I think of the people she gets to spend her time with now.

Grandma, if you even knew the impact you've had on your family. How proud you must feel. You will be in my heart every minute of every day. It will be so hard for me to let go. I haven't simply lost a grandma. You've been so much more than that to me. May you be wrapped in the love of our heavenly father. I will be anxiously awaiting the day when we will meet again. I know how you so wanted to live to see my third son. Well, you'll get your chance. Maybe you'll get to before me even. I love you grandma. I'll miss you, more than I could ever tell.

Eva Mae Downard Pedersen. May 21st, 1921-April 23rd, 2010.