Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A little copying & pasting!!

Some of you may or may not know my sister in law Amy. She's married to my brother Devin. She has an exraordinary talent. Writing. Putting her thoughts and feeling into words, beautifully on paper. Something I've Always struggled with, expressing my feelings, Pulling words from the jumbled mess in my mind, and having it in order & actually make sense.. If you're one that enjoys delightful, funny, heartfelt posts, I encourage you to visit her blog. It will keep you thoroghly entertained! She recently posted and I love what she wrote. It's truely how I feel too, and I'm sure how mos parents feel. So I just have to copy & post it on my blog to share with you. I just love it! Hope you don't mind, Amy!


All Worthwhile

I thought I knew what happiness was supposed to be; a sandy beach-front cabin, coconut drinks, no tan lines. A hefty savings account, an immaculate house surrounded by acres of perfectly manicured lawn. Vacations in Europe, walking sandal-footed across ancient cobblestone pathways in Tuscany, quietly absorbing a sinking sun while holding my sweetheart's hand. Maybe a cruise or three while we bask in the glow of our responsibility-free existence...
Then my first child arrived and I looked into her infant face and saw what was to be the remainder of my life...my new happiness; being a mother.
By the time my son came along, I had already realized the silly list of things that were supposed
to be the most happy in some one's life didn't hold a match light to the moments I had experienced or was bound to experience with my children.
Its the little things.
The big things.
The things that don't matter to anyone else.
The things that you will forever kick yourself for.
The things you don't ever want to forget.
Most often, it is just...things. Flickers of life that tattoo a part of your being into the eternities.
I know I'm never going to remember everything. I curse the human capacity to retain large amounts of information, especially when bits and pieces of my children's lives flit in and out of retention all day long.
Savanna said this...
Dakson did that...
Before long they'll be fiercely independent and I'll long for the days when my worst frustration was getting Daks to hold still long enough to get him diapered.
Its all just a series of moments, I suppose. Remembering what we can and enjoying what we're given.
I may not be in New Zealand free-falling with a parachute, but I know the feeling. I feel it a little more everyday as my babies grow into children and that gust of life hits me in the face with every sunrise.